Statue & Narrative

I completely forgot to do this in my last entry. So here goes.

The statue I created is very strong to me. I entitled it "Come and Get Me.", simply because I imagined that's what someone in that pose would say. (In a condescending tone.) In the statue, I make my torso "stand tall", however my head is slightly angled downwards with my eyes remaining level, creating an intense, angry look. In addition, I purse my lips slightly with a very faint smile. My arms are held outwards with my palms facing away from me, somewhat looking like I'm crucified, I guess. I find it to be a very strong image, and I like it a lot.


Personal Myth

While I'm still a little foggy about what exactly I have to write about, I figure I may as well have at. What I understand what I'm supposed to write for my "Personal Myth" is a specific point in my life with a very clear poignant emotion. Let's see how this goes.

First of all, let me just say how hard it is to think of specific memories when you're told to think of a specific memory. It's really hard. I can be reminded of specific things in everyday conversations, but when I'm told to think of one and write about it, well, I fall flat. I mean, honestly I'm only writing this paragraph because I can't think of anything.

So, I may as well write about a huge ordeal that inspired my own personal journey to finding myself.

After the first few months of being in college my freshman year, I realized that I wasn't exactly happy with my boyfriend at the time. Explaining why is a whole other story, so I'll just leave it at that. So I broke up with him. Now, this was at a point where I didn't have people I considered to be close friends at state, and the fact that I had broken up with my now ex-boyfriend made my old "friends" disown me. So I was essentially alone. I mean, I had my family, but the rest of my social life was hardly what I wanted it to be.

I didn't go around trying to replace everyone. Instead, I figured this was a perfect time for me to grow and become a better person and to find myself.

I write in my own personal journal a lot, and this except perfectly encompasses how I felt at that time:

"...I'm beginning to feel as if I'm apart. I'm somewhat displaced from everyone & the rest of the world... displaced and apart & observant. Someone so away that they can firmly assess their own situation pragmatically. Intelligently. It's like... Like I'm almost untouchable."

Or this one.

"Sometimes I feel like some force. Because I'm all alone. I'm all alone and by myself and have no attachment. Therefore I feel somewhat holy and untouchable. As if I were encased within an aura."

It's this incredibly profound feeling of being yourself. Being aware of yourself and how you act. And being capable of existing all by yourself. It's liberating and free and scary. And that was the first time I'd ever felt it. It's somewhat aloof, yet willing to take everything in.

I love that feeling.