Class, Shameless Self Promotion, and a NEW SHOW!

I've been really busy lately, hence the not-updated journal lately.

Also, I feel the need to include a mini-disclaimer.

If you're reading this, chances are at one point or another you'll think I'm a self-involved bitch or an annoying little snoot, etc. I can almost guarantee it. This is because this is a journal though, and journals are where people more often than not write about themselves and their experiences. Also, I'm deliberately choosing not to censor myself, even though anyone can read this. This is a place for my thoughts, and quite frankly I'm too lazy to hide certain posts and e-mail them to Peter at another time. Journaling is hard enough for me as it is.

Not onto the real topic.

I haven't journaled about class lately. May as well start with that. This week we've been doing more listening and breathing exercises. Well, not so much listening as it is just being aware of the world around you and sensing it all. Like standing in a circle with our eyes shut and humming when the person to the left of us began humming, etc. It was really interesting. You really had to be paying attention and in tune with everyone around you. Which is the way it should be in a scene or play: you should be totally focused on the other actor/ actors you're working with so you can react, not just expect a cue then say your line. Acting is about reacting.

On top of that I got to be an absolute CREEP in my Geology class and essentially observe a petite Asian girl I sit next to so I could portray what she looked like to the class. I chose her because she holds her pencil in really really weird way. Also she's really petite, and I'm... Not.

A to-scale representation of me versus her.

I figured it would be a good challenge for me to try to portray someone that's physically smaller than I am, and it was. I enjoyed the suggestions I got, and the class talked about it more than I had anticipated, it went really well.


On a really freaking exciting note, I'm in "A Midsummer Night's Dream"!!! It's going to be epic, I'm so excited. So far the cast list said "Fairy", but I'm unsure which fairy I am as of right now. Regardless of which one I am, I'm super psyched for the raked stage and fairy battles. Not to mention the fact that's it set in the 60's. That pretty freaking epic as well.

It'll be fun, I think, to move from one show to the next. Literally. The day after Vagina Monologues closes I'll have my first rehearsal for Midsummer. I've never done that before, and I'm really super excited!

Speaking of Vagina Monologues, if you're reading this, you should see them. They're going to be really great, and all the proceeds go to the charity we chose (License to Freedom) and the National V-Day Campaign's charity. Also, it's just a really good show. And you kind of have to go because it's a student production. But bring your friends!

Click here for more info: The Vagina Monologues Event Page

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Generals

I had generals this morning. Yes. Yes I did.

I never really know what to say about my auditions, honestly. Auditions always freak me the hell out. So what generally happens is I get up on stage, slate, and then go into autopilot and I don't remember actually doing my monologues.

I like to imagine something like this goes on in my brain.

I don't think I screwed up too much today. I know I didn't have any major line flub-ups. The transitioning is always hard, so I don't even want to think about that.

I need to stop being so nervous about freaking general auditions. If I don't get in, I don't get in, whatever. Life goes on. My problem is I can't help but over think and get nervous, and then that makes me mess up. It doesn't matter how many times I've rehearsed it or how well I've got it memorized. And that sucks.

The weird thing is, I've been acting for about 5 years, and I still get horrible stage fright. The most annoying part it, it's never before I do a show. Never before I do a scene or a monologue for class. It only happens before an audition. And I hate that, because otherwise I'm not nervous, so I assume I don't have the jitters anymore, then I don't expect them at my next audition. But whatddya' know, more jitters.

Plus that long walk from the Green Room to the Experimental didn't really help.

Even though it did make me feel like I was about to kick some ass.

Since you know, it's just like in all those boxing, wrestling or various other fighting movies where they have a long walk down a shady looking corridor before the big fight.

I don't know.
I just like the movies Snatch and Fight Club.

And not just because I get to see Brad Pitt without a shirt in both films.

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Bwuh.

Last night I had rehearsal for Vagina Monologues. Honestly, I've been looking forward to it all week. I love working on this show. Basically last night we had a rough stumble-through of the entire show. (For the most part.)

It ended up actually going really well. I did say "line" a couple of times, but eh. I do that a lot. I say line when I don't need to. EVERY time (except 1, I think) I ended up knowing what my line was before they told me. I just get really nervous, I guess. Especially because I think I'm the youngest person in the whole cast. So I push myself because I feel like I have to "hold my own", but on the other hand I get extremely nervous and make silly precautions for myself, like saying line when I don't need to.

Bwuh.

Other than that though, it went very well. All the other girls were very good. But there was one that kind of.... Well it was kind of boring. Just that time, at least. I mean it's the first time I've heard it. But the monologue was one of the longer ones, and she had a very, VERY, slow pace throughout the entire thing, and there wasn't a single ounce of variety. And it was boring.

Stuff like that worries me sometimes. I'm doing "My Angry Vagina", and at first I struggled with making it interesting to listen to, because let's face it, listening to someone yelling for a straight 3 minutes can be really tedious and boring. So I'm working with levels now, different kinds of tones and inflections. And not yelling throughout the entire thing. That too.

I don't want the audience to find me boring. That worries me a lot in shows. Sometimes people can be boring or long-winded, and the audience starts to look around at what else in going on. I feel like as an actor, you should always try to be as interesting as possible without being showy or fake. You have to find that happy medium to make it interesting and real.

I'm starting to get pretty close with the other girls in the cast. I really like that. Honestly, I've never been in a show where for the first week we just did bonding exercises and stuff. It's a shame, really. Now that I've done it I feel like every show should do that. It makes the whole rehearsal process a lot more comfortable for everyone. I've always had a bit of a hard time making friends with girls, too. I don't know why. Regardless, I really like all the girls, they're really supportive and nice. I think this is the closest I've ever been with a cast before.

It's good.

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And So it Begins

Basically what I want to use this blog for is a place to talk about my rehearsal experiences in shows that I work on, in addition to talking about each class day in Acting II. Which I have to do. But I think once I finish this semester I'll keep it up. It might end up being drastically different and perhaps morph into more than just a place for my "acting talk", but I'm pretty sure I'll keep it up. So, uh, let's get started.

I don't think I've ever felt so overwhelmed but so lax ever before. This semester is going to be one of the easiest and hardest I'll ever have acting-wise.

I'm terribly excited. I'm working on "The Vagina Monologues" right now, which is amazing, and I can't wait to audition for Generals on Monday, and Advanced Voice & Text and Acting II are going to be great, but I'm so nervous.

I feel like part of this is because I really want to push myself. So far in my acting career here, I haven't felt nearly as challenged as I wanted to be/ expected to be. So I'm excited because I know I'm going to push myself. A lot. A hell of a lot. I suppose I'm nervous because I'm creating new boundaries for myself. (And part of me knows I'll only end up creating even greater boundaries eventually.)

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