Generals

I had generals this morning. Yes. Yes I did.

I never really know what to say about my auditions, honestly. Auditions always freak me the hell out. So what generally happens is I get up on stage, slate, and then go into autopilot and I don't remember actually doing my monologues.

I like to imagine something like this goes on in my brain.

I don't think I screwed up too much today. I know I didn't have any major line flub-ups. The transitioning is always hard, so I don't even want to think about that.

I need to stop being so nervous about freaking general auditions. If I don't get in, I don't get in, whatever. Life goes on. My problem is I can't help but over think and get nervous, and then that makes me mess up. It doesn't matter how many times I've rehearsed it or how well I've got it memorized. And that sucks.

The weird thing is, I've been acting for about 5 years, and I still get horrible stage fright. The most annoying part it, it's never before I do a show. Never before I do a scene or a monologue for class. It only happens before an audition. And I hate that, because otherwise I'm not nervous, so I assume I don't have the jitters anymore, then I don't expect them at my next audition. But whatddya' know, more jitters.

Plus that long walk from the Green Room to the Experimental didn't really help.

Even though it did make me feel like I was about to kick some ass.

Since you know, it's just like in all those boxing, wrestling or various other fighting movies where they have a long walk down a shady looking corridor before the big fight.

I don't know.
I just like the movies Snatch and Fight Club.

And not just because I get to see Brad Pitt without a shirt in both films.